It's been an interesting several days. On the advice of my santero, I lit a candle to Mami Wata, a deity of the ocean that I have on my paternal grandmother's side, and have been feeling a special presence in my life all week. Difficult to describe... it's been an energy, a vibration I've been feeling, that feels very familiar and loving. My santero predicted that Mami Wata will reveal herself to me in some way during the five weeks of the spell, and I'm eagerly looking forward to this.
I've been doing a lot of growth, and it's been great. However, the stress of my current lifestyle has been getting to me. Knowing that a depression is coming, and that I need to find a way to support myself that is stable, has been extremely stressful. In fact, I've been panicking, and that is not helpful. Thinking about the white supremacist trend that's been sweeping the nation has been difficult, too. Knowing that both black and white people will react to me based on that trend can be intimidating.
Right now, my life is a true exercise in faith. I must seek my own Divinity, and be committed to growth, despite the discouraging trends surrounding me. I must trust that I will be led to safety, in Divine time, and will thrive despite the cultural climate. I must do this despite the fact that I am alone in a cold and unfriendly city, penniless, technically homeless, and largely ignored. Looking at all of this, I am truly a hero to face these circumstances the way I do.
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